Rules For Work

[Joker]

Rules For Work

<p align="left">1.&nbsp; Never give me work in the morning.
&nbsp; Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me.&nbsp; The challenge of a deadline
is refreshing.</p>
<p align="left">2.&nbsp; If it's really a rush job, run in and
interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going.&nbsp; That helps.&nbsp; Or even
better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.</p>
<p align="left">3.&nbsp; Always leave without telling anyone
where you're going.&nbsp; It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you
are.</p>
<p align="left">4.&nbsp; If my arms are full of papers, boxes,
books, or supplies, don't open the door for me.&nbsp; I need to learn how to function as a
paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be
injured and lose all use of my limbs.</p>
<p align="left">5.&nbsp; If you give me more than one job to
do, don't tell me which is priority.&nbsp; I am psychic.</p>
<p align="left">6.&nbsp; Do your best to keep me late.&nbsp; I
adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.&nbsp; I have no life
beyond work.</p>
<p align="left">7.&nbsp; If a job I do pleases you, keep it a
secret.&nbsp; If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.</p>
<p align="left">8.&nbsp; If you don't like my work, tell
everyone.&nbsp; I like my name to be popular in conversations.&nbsp; I was born to be
whipped.</p>
<p align="left">9.&nbsp; If you have special instructions for
a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.&nbsp; No
use confusing me with useful information.</p>
<p align="left">10.&nbsp; Never introduce me to the people
you're with.&nbsp; I have no right to know anything.&nbsp; In the corporate food chain, I
am plankton.&nbsp; When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.</p>
<p align="left">11.&nbsp; Be nice to me only when the job I'm
doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.</p>
<p align="left">12.&nbsp; Tell me all your little problems.
&nbsp; No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.&nbsp; I
especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you
received for being such a good manager.</p>
<p align="left">13.&nbsp; Wait until my yearly review and THEN
tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating
&nbsp; with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.</p>

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