Illinois Jokes

[ben2ong2]

Dumb Illinois Laws
# You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
# You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.
# You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
# The English language is not to be spoken.
Chicago
# Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
# It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
# Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
# Spitting is forbidden
# In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
# It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
# It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
Champaign
# One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
Cicero
# Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.
Crete
# Cars may not be driven through the town.
Des Plaines
# Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.
Eureka
# A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.
Evanston
# Bowling is forbidden.
# It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
# It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
Fairfield
# It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from sundown to sunrise.
Freeport
# It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
Galesburg
# There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.
Homer
# It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.
Joliet
# Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.
Kenilworth
# A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.
Kirkland
# Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland's streets.
Moline
# Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.
# There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.
Morton Grove
# You may not own a handgun
Normal
# It is against the law to make faces at dogs.
Orland Prak
# No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.
Ottawa
# Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.
Park Ridge
# Trucks may only park inside closed garages.
Peoria
# Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.
Zion
# It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.