A Bunch of Funny and Interesting Quotes

[Sup3rkirby]

Firstly, I did not make these quotes up.  I found them and as far as I know, they are all real quotes, from real people.

Hope you get a good laugh or two.

"Any computer project will take twice as long as you think it will, even when you take into account Hofstadters law." -- Hofstadters Law

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"AOL is like the cockroach left after the nuclear bomb hits. They know how to survive. -- Jan Horsfall, VP of marketing for Lycos

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"Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes. -- Page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health Safety Handbook for Employees

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"The Internet? We are not interested in it." -- Bill Gates, 1993

"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating system, and possibly program, of all time." -- Bill Gates, 1987

"Microsoft Products are Generally Bug Free." -- Bill Gates

"We have not figured out how to be lower priced than Linux. -- Steve Ballmer, President and CEO of Microsoft, 2002

"We have no intention of shipping another bloated OS and shoving it down the throats of our users. -- Paul Maritz, Microsoft GVP

"640k ought to be enough for anybody. -- Bill Gates, chairman of Microsoft, 1981

"Sometimes we do get taken by surprise. For example, when the Internet came along, we had it as a fifth or sixth priority. -- Bill Gates, Jul, 1998

"These security related updates may disable your ability to copy/play Secure Content and use other software on your computer. -- From the EULA of a security update to Windows Media Player.

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"The Macintosh operating system is amazingly complex, given how little it does." -- Peter da Silva
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"There's no set architecture in Linux. All roads lead to madness..." -- William Hilf

"You know it is Unix when the backspace key often performs an action other than deleting the character to the left of the cursor." -- Raph Levien

"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. -- Dennis Ritchie

"If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot of different places, "just write a Unix operating system." -- Linus Torvalds

"Linux is not portable." -- Linus Torvalds
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"Microsoft is now talking about the digital nervous system... I guess I would be nervous if my system was built on their technology too." -- Scott McNealy

"W2K (Windows 2000) will be a bigger disaster than Y2K." -- Scott McNealy

"Every time you turn on your new car, you are turning on 20 microprocessors. Every time you use an ATM, you are using a computer. The only computer you do not know how to work is your Microsoft computer, right?" -- Scott McNealy, CEO, Sun Microsystems

"Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows." -- Anonymous

"Hoping the problem magically goes away by ignoring it is the "Microsoft approach to programming" and should never be allowed." -- Linus Torvalds

"Fixing Unix is easier than living with NT." -- Jonathan Gilpin

"Sure Windows is useful, I used it to download Linux." -- Someone

"Linux: find out what you have been missing while you have been rebooting Windows NT." -- Infoworld

"In a world without walls or fences, who needs Windows and Gates?" -- Scott McNealy, CEO of Sun

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"Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver." -- Robert Paul

"The social dynamics of the net are a direct consequence of the fact that nobody has yet developed a Remote Strangulation Protocol." -- Larry Wall

"Real programmers can write assembly code in any language." -- Larry Wall

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." -- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

"Computers do not solve problems, they execute solutions." -- Laurent Gasser

"If its green, its biology, If it stinks, its chemistry, If it has numbers its math, If it never works, its technology." -- Anonymous

"But computers are useless. They can only give you answers." -- Pablo Picasso


"Computers will never take the place of books. You can not stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf." -- Sam Ewing

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"They have computers and they may have other weapons of mass destruction." -- Janet Reno

"This is the third time this year an attacker has brought down our site." -- SCO Group

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"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, 1949

"This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, chairman of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977

"Yeah, microchips, but what... is it good for?" -- an IBM senior enginner, 1968

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff in response to the investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"Computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps only weigh 1 1/2 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, 1949
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"Treat your password like your toothbrush. Do not let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months." -- Clifford Stoll

"It is ridiculous to live 100 years and only be able to remember 30 million bytes. You know less than a compact disc." -- Marvin Minsky

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." -- Arthur C. Clarke

"Distributed computing is where someone tripping over a cable in another building can ruin your day." -- Some Geek

"Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge." -- Daniel J. Boorstin

"URLs are the 800 numbers of the 1990s" -- Chris Clark

"Real men do not use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies." -- Linus Torvalds

"There is no place like 127.0.0.1" -- Anonymous

"The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim." -- Edsgar Dijkstra

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." -- Albert Einstein


*I tried to group them in some weird way... Hopefully it makes reading all of those easier.  Enjoy (c=

[EDIT]
  I tried to color code this because a long list of black text is no fun to look at.

[ben2ong2]

lol

thx 4 the coloring