wht did the chickin cross the road?
he was to chickin to cross
Lane: Sorry Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane: My little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave. So my mom had to take him to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she freaked out. She hijacked a busload of penguins. So it's sort of a family crisis. Bye!
Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Lane: Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.
Johnny: I want my two dollars!
Charles De Mar: Wait, wait a minute...
[starts to snort snow off his top hat]
[sniff] Oh.
Oh! Ugh! Outrageous! This is pure snow! It's everywhere!
[raises right hand]
I think I just froze the left half of my brain!
[waves arm in circles]
Look! I can't move my right arm!
Lane: This isn't funny, Charles! If I don't have a dream, I have nothing!
Charles De Mar: Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid.
Charles De Mar: Go really, really fast that way. If something gets in your way, turn.
Lane: What a coach!
Lane: I have great fear of tools. I once made a birdhouse in woodshop and the fair housing committee condemned it. I can't.
Monique: "I can not do it" is your middle name.
Lane: Sorry Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane: My little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave. So my mom had to take him to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she freaked out. She hijacked a busload of penguins. So it's sort of a family crisis. Bye!
Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Lane: Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.
Johnny: I want my two dollars!
Charles De Mar: Wait, wait a minute...
[starts to snort snow off his top hat]
[sniff] Oh.
Oh! Ugh! Outrageous! This is pure snow! It's everywhere!
[raises right hand]
I think I just froze the left half of my brain!
[waves arm in circles]
Look! I can't move my right arm!
Lane: This isn't funny, Charles! If I don't have a dream, I have nothing!
Charles De Mar: Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid.
Charles De Mar: Go really, really fast that way. If something gets in your way, turn.
Lane: What a coach!
Lane: I have great fear of tools. I once made a birdhouse in woodshop and the fair housing committee condemned it. I can't.
Monique: "I can not do it" is your middle name.
To help untangle my fishing gear, I asked my wife and her sister to walk the fishing line across our front yard and hold it taut while I reeled it back in.
A mand strolling by saw the two good-looking women and did a double take. "I don't know what you're using for bait," he said to me, "but I'll take a dozen."
My musician son decided to play guitar at his own wedding reception. That day, tuning his strings was taking longer than usual.
"It's a little harder to do with a ring on," he apologized to the waiting guests.
That's when a man called out, "Everything's harder with a ring on."
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Is it hot in here or is it just you?
SHE: It's hot.
HE: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE: Okay, but would you stay there?
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck.
Wow. Dont use those pickup lines unless you want being dumped. lol.
wats yellow and sits in a apple tree?
a confused banana
attitude
It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.
Action
To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.
'confucious Say' :
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation!
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowingcooltan
Chinese Maxims
# Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
# Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
# Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
# When you say, "I love you", mean it.
# When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
# Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
# Believe in love at first sight.
# Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much to achieve.
# Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
# In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
# Don't judge people by their relative.
# Talk slowly but think quickly.
# When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know"
# Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
# Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
# When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
# Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
# Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
# When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
# Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice..
# Spend some time alone.
Banks will give you money if you can prove you don't need it.approve
Last night, I lay in bed serenely looking up at the bright stars in the dark, night sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
"I didn't jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were."
"I don't mind talking to your hand. It is when it starts talking back, then we have a problem."
Seeing as that you found this compelling enough to read, I thought you should know that there is a large purple llama behind you, with a knife, and if you turn around it will chop off your nose... thank you, and have a nice day.~ ferrari
Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room
Time wounds all heals
A waist is a terrible thing to mind
Flattery is the highest form of imitation.
A Brunette,redhead and Blonde
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
Funny Quotes
only put quotes here
"who was the first guy to look at a cow and say: im just going to drink whatever comes out of these things when i squeeze them"
Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
"Many reporters say i have no vision, I don't see that"
George W. Bush
"I would like to thank my parents-especially my mother and father"
Greg norman
"Either you give me what i demand, or i'll take what you're offering!"
Joe torre
if you know any other funny quotes post them
A Couple of Random Celebrity Quotes
"A study in the Washington Post shows that women have better verbal skills than men. The only thing I have to say to that is uh, duh!"
-Conan O'Brien
"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day that they come out with a riding vacuum cleaner."
-Roseanne
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get pulled into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
-Jeff Foxworthy
"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
-Richard Jeni
Fire
A man's house was on fire. He decided he would call the fire department. He got on the phone with the Fire Chief. The man was very frantic. The man said, "Chief, you have to get over here, my house is on fire!" The Chief said, "Calm down, how do we get to your house?" The man said "Don't you have those big red trucks anymore?" lol lol
big_grin I'm smiling becuase you're my brother
lol I'm laughing becuase there is nothing you can do about it!
Back to School Questions
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs, he would fall over!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8!
What does "minimum" mean?
A very small mother!
What does "maximum" mean?
A very big mother!
What's the difference between an American student and an
English student?
About 3,000 miles!
Why did Robin Hood steal only from the rich?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking!
What is a skeleton?
Bones, with the person off!
we all know that money talks right?
well ya wanna know what it says?
it says "good-bye"
Funny Joke
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to
help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son
and described his predicament.
"Dear son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting
too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my
troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad."
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, for heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden,
that's where I buried the BODIES. Love son."
At 4 am the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed
up and dug up the entire garden area. But when they didn't find
any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. Later that
same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best
I could do under the circumstances. Love, Son."
Mother in Law
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Who's Foolish
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby
daughter, chatting to her about the scenery.
When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the
carriage and said, "See the doggy?" Suddenly I felt foolish
talking to my baby as if she understood me.
However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his
dog, and said, "See the baby?"
Funny Joke
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to
help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son
and described his predicament.
"Dear son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting
too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my
troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad."
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, for heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden,
that's where I buried the BODIES. Love son."
At 4 am the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed
up and dug up the entire garden area. But when they didn't find
any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. Later that
same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best
I could do under the circumstances. Love, Son."
he was to chickin to cross
Lane: Sorry Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane: My little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave. So my mom had to take him to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she freaked out. She hijacked a busload of penguins. So it's sort of a family crisis. Bye!
Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Lane: Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.
Johnny: I want my two dollars!
Charles De Mar: Wait, wait a minute...
[starts to snort snow off his top hat]
[sniff] Oh.
Oh! Ugh! Outrageous! This is pure snow! It's everywhere!
[raises right hand]
I think I just froze the left half of my brain!
[waves arm in circles]
Look! I can't move my right arm!
Lane: This isn't funny, Charles! If I don't have a dream, I have nothing!
Charles De Mar: Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid.
Charles De Mar: Go really, really fast that way. If something gets in your way, turn.
Lane: What a coach!
Lane: I have great fear of tools. I once made a birdhouse in woodshop and the fair housing committee condemned it. I can't.
Monique: "I can not do it" is your middle name.
Lane: Sorry Johnny, I don't have a dime.
Johnny: Didn't ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane: My little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave. So my mom had to take him to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she freaked out. She hijacked a busload of penguins. So it's sort of a family crisis. Bye!
Tree Trimmer: Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Lane: Gee, I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.
Johnny: I want my two dollars!
Charles De Mar: Wait, wait a minute...
[starts to snort snow off his top hat]
[sniff] Oh.
Oh! Ugh! Outrageous! This is pure snow! It's everywhere!
[raises right hand]
I think I just froze the left half of my brain!
[waves arm in circles]
Look! I can't move my right arm!
Lane: This isn't funny, Charles! If I don't have a dream, I have nothing!
Charles De Mar: Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid.
Charles De Mar: Go really, really fast that way. If something gets in your way, turn.
Lane: What a coach!
Lane: I have great fear of tools. I once made a birdhouse in woodshop and the fair housing committee condemned it. I can't.
Monique: "I can not do it" is your middle name.
To help untangle my fishing gear, I asked my wife and her sister to walk the fishing line across our front yard and hold it taut while I reeled it back in.
A mand strolling by saw the two good-looking women and did a double take. "I don't know what you're using for bait," he said to me, "but I'll take a dozen."
My musician son decided to play guitar at his own wedding reception. That day, tuning his strings was taking longer than usual.
"It's a little harder to do with a ring on," he apologized to the waiting guests.
That's when a man called out, "Everything's harder with a ring on."
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Is it hot in here or is it just you?
SHE: It's hot.
HE: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE: Okay, but would you stay there?
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck.
Wow. Dont use those pickup lines unless you want being dumped. lol.
wats yellow and sits in a apple tree?
a confused banana
attitude
It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.
Action
To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.
'confucious Say' :
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation!
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowingcooltan
Chinese Maxims
# Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
# Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
# Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
# When you say, "I love you", mean it.
# When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
# Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
# Believe in love at first sight.
# Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much to achieve.
# Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
# In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
# Don't judge people by their relative.
# Talk slowly but think quickly.
# When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know"
# Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
# Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
# When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
# Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
# Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
# When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
# Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice..
# Spend some time alone.
Banks will give you money if you can prove you don't need it.approve
Last night, I lay in bed serenely looking up at the bright stars in the dark, night sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
"I didn't jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were."
"I don't mind talking to your hand. It is when it starts talking back, then we have a problem."
Seeing as that you found this compelling enough to read, I thought you should know that there is a large purple llama behind you, with a knife, and if you turn around it will chop off your nose... thank you, and have a nice day.~ ferrari
Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room
Time wounds all heals
A waist is a terrible thing to mind
Flattery is the highest form of imitation.
A Brunette,redhead and Blonde
A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK," says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
Funny Quotes
only put quotes here
"who was the first guy to look at a cow and say: im just going to drink whatever comes out of these things when i squeeze them"
Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes
"Many reporters say i have no vision, I don't see that"
George W. Bush
"I would like to thank my parents-especially my mother and father"
Greg norman
"Either you give me what i demand, or i'll take what you're offering!"
Joe torre
if you know any other funny quotes post them
A Couple of Random Celebrity Quotes
"A study in the Washington Post shows that women have better verbal skills than men. The only thing I have to say to that is uh, duh!"
-Conan O'Brien
"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day that they come out with a riding vacuum cleaner."
-Roseanne
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get pulled into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
-Jeff Foxworthy
"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'"
-Richard Jeni
Fire
A man's house was on fire. He decided he would call the fire department. He got on the phone with the Fire Chief. The man was very frantic. The man said, "Chief, you have to get over here, my house is on fire!" The Chief said, "Calm down, how do we get to your house?" The man said "Don't you have those big red trucks anymore?" lol lol
big_grin I'm smiling becuase you're my brother
lol I'm laughing becuase there is nothing you can do about it!
Back to School Questions
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs, he would fall over!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8!
What does "minimum" mean?
A very small mother!
What does "maximum" mean?
A very big mother!
What's the difference between an American student and an
English student?
About 3,000 miles!
Why did Robin Hood steal only from the rich?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking!
What is a skeleton?
Bones, with the person off!
we all know that money talks right?
well ya wanna know what it says?
it says "good-bye"
Funny Joke
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to
help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son
and described his predicament.
"Dear son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting
too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my
troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad."
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, for heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden,
that's where I buried the BODIES. Love son."
At 4 am the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed
up and dug up the entire garden area. But when they didn't find
any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. Later that
same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best
I could do under the circumstances. Love, Son."
Mother in Law
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Who's Foolish
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby
daughter, chatting to her about the scenery.
When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the
carriage and said, "See the doggy?" Suddenly I felt foolish
talking to my baby as if she understood me.
However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his
dog, and said, "See the baby?"
Funny Joke
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato
garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to
help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son
and described his predicament.
"Dear son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting
too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my
troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad."
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, for heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden,
that's where I buried the BODIES. Love son."
At 4 am the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed
up and dug up the entire garden area. But when they didn't find
any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. Later that
same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
"Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best
I could do under the circumstances. Love, Son."