Bald Men and Dating

[charleychacko]

I am tired of hearing women saying that he is "bald" as if he was ill or stricken. Being bald is like growing older, or getting wrinkles. It's natural. If a woman is obsessed with dating men with full heads of hair then she could be classed as extremely shallow indeed or have an unbalanced sense of youth. Certainly she may be completely mistaken because her current hairy beau could end up bald anyway later. If a man said that he wouldn't date half the women population because their breasts were too small (or big) he would be listed a chauvinist and sexist fool. Yet daily I hear women express their interest that "my man MUST have a full head of thick shiny locks". It is as if a sign of dating success is to date the man with the most hair. Sigh.

Interestingly a man with a purposely shaved head doesn't count. He has the ability to grow hair but he has chosen to have a shaved head due to fashion. Maybe he is a member of the armed forces and therefore expected of him. Maybe he is P. Diddy. Either way, many women appear not to want to date men who don't have a definitely low hair line. Its part of nature and attraction and therefore a major part of dating.

A woman I know once said about her prospective date; "Oh no, he won't do at all. He has no hair. I want a man with a full head of hair like my daddy had" ! Another girl friend said to me; "I adore men with shaved heads, bald men are so masculine and sexy. They remind me of Bruce Willis." So my initial impression here is that it is down to personal taste.

Dating is initially based on physical attraction and subconsciously we are seeking a healthy mate to procreate with. A lack of hair is tied in with age, maturity but for some reason half of women view a lack of hair as unhealthy and off-putting. I know a great many women who will not date balding men at all. I was even watching an episode of Sex and the City the other evening when one of the characters said she wouldn't consider a man walking by because he was losing his hair. It is as if he were a nuclear war victim about to die.

Strangely though the cult of hair is mainly heavily obsessive in the US and this is partly due to genes. With the heavy influence of eastern European males through successive US generations, one finds a society where balding men aren't quite as prevalent as in other countries. In Scandinavia, the UK and western Europe for example, hair loss appears to be far more common and is therefore far more accepted. To make my very unscientific point, I was once drinking in a bar in Anchorage where I was the ONLY man in a packed bar who had no hair! In Europe this would be unthinkable.

The first thing we need to spell out here is that having a bald head has nothing to do with poor health. It is generally a process of age. It is the same as a woman's breasts sagging, eye wrinkles or neck lines. Being bald is a gradual process that appears to affect certain men in stages. I think the reason why women are so affected by the image of a bald head is because of the media, Hollywood and movies. The leading man has always been portrayed in western cinema as a man with a full head of hair. Hair is also the natural domain of youth. Therefore inevitably women grow up expecting their men to have a full head of locks just like a Rolling Stone, David Bowie or Clint Eastwood. Subconsciously they want their babies to have full heads of hair too.

There are rare exceptions. Sting has been losing his hair for years but is seen as very sexy, Nicholas Cage appears to be losing his hair but this doesn't affect his attraction and Sean Connery has lit the fires of generations of women and is probably the sexiest bald man alive. So maybe hair has nothing to do with it. Maybe it is the whole package, the overall attractiveness of the person concerned. Success and confidence levels certainly assist any man, whatever his hair length and this should be taken into consideration.

The issue for bald men then is confidence when dating. If you are losing your hair gradually then the best thing one can do is NEVER cover it up. The sweep-over hair styles of yesterday have long since gone and any man with a lack of thick hair should take a long hard look at Bruce Willis and get to the barbers for a shaved pate. A man has to learn to live with not having lots of hair and it doesn't happen in an instant. Its one thing to have one's head shaved on purpose, another to have ones hair thinning by the month.

My own advice is to take the bull by the horns and accept that not all women will love you as a bald man, but then they may not have gelled with you anyway-and what do they know anyway! If a woman judges you by your hair she is probably not worth knowing in the first place (shallow) and if you are a woman, imagine someone judging you by the size of your ass. Instead guys, remember that around half the female population will love you for your looks and see a shaved head as very masculine, virile or even not important at all in the equation.

My advice is to join the shaven-headed generation and give yourself some confidence and panache by dressing well, looking good and getting your nicely buffed head a tan. Be cool, be sophisticated and learn to go for the ladies who love your style. Don't aim for the ones who want a surrogate luscious-locked salon owner. I'd have rather been Yul Brinner than Casy Kasem any day.

Next time someone checks out your lack of hair on a date you have just met an unsuitable match. If you wish to point out their failings too, please go ahead!